today woke up so late. supposed to meet enxin at 9am for books. and the rest of them at 10am for shengsiong. then in the end i woke up at 11plus. and wow the 2 biantais called me 19times! lihai right lols. then i changed and blahblah went to meet them at enxin house. then dillydally there. then i play quadrapop then they say want go buy books. so i borrow shoe from her and went school. raining! arghh. recently de rain very cold i dont like =( haha! then buy buy that stupid bookshop guy called gary crap so much =x haha! then he keep trying to ask enxin what's her degrees. LOLS! then i went back enxin house to return shoes and waited for her to change. then we went to aloysius house. see things that we wanted.

blahh then i took bus home =] use computer awhile and i slept on the sofa awhile jiu wake up. then i changed and tied hair =D then i went out. ahah! my hair style like my clothes de. so cute xP then went to control meet them. blahblah. then took mrt to marina with them =] then we went to toilet and blahblah waited for enxin then called her. then we went the seafood there first. heehee. so funnnn =] love love love the prawns. we ate so much prawns! i think 20 over for each of us. you will see 2 mountain plates of prawn shells. we took turns to peel the prawns, cook the prawns and eat the prawns! hahahs! then we from 5 eat till 8pm. took mrt back cresent park and chitchat there. larissa left first. then the 3 of us talk. then baoying went home. me and aloysius walked to admiralty and took bus back home.

reached home sister jiu scold me. mum kp me. hais. sian. havent told them bout the chalet. dont know how much screams i will get tomorrow when i tell them. sighs.

tomorrow chalet. i am happy larh! going with gang. but i am sad cause alot people not staying =( stay then more fun marhh. BOO.
going to play sims2 i think. installation very long =(

imissyou =(

today woke up at 9.30am larh! late late late ! arghh. somemore sister keep kpkp me. then mummy asked me eat first. so i ate so fasttt larh! then my sister made milo drink half give me. then got changed and everything. then took bus over to that stupid didi house. that lazy pig dont want bring down for me so i had to take the lift up and take from him larh. then i took bus to causeway.

ah ah ah late for 35minutes. haha. met kelvin and kaiyuan. we took mrt over to redhill. me and kaiyuan talk talk blahblah. kelvin loner siah! then at redhill met jiahui and gladys. man i love gladys! she is so hell mad larh! so fun to be with =D then we at redhill there look for basketball court. walk walk walk around cause no rain le and we wanted an outdoor de? haha! then in the end cannot find larh. and that place is like the first time i worked in evergreen de place! haha. so qiao siah. then kelvin saw his granddad! lols! then we walked lah. until the cc where we saw one basketball court. but the cc is closed! arghh. so we rested at the bus stop. then we decided to walk back mrt and go bishan so that shwan can play with us. so we mrt-ed to bishan. there's so many people asking us to donate larh! then we waited for shwan. blahblah. then took bus to his house there. went to 7-11 for drinks and tidbits. then played basketball. argh floor damn wet so had to run barefooted cause floor's damn slippery. then sway sway think got oil also larh! and i play until fall. pigu damn tong larh! then i stopped playing =( arghhhhh! then they also dont want play.

so we went to shwan's house. one word NICE! haha. his house damn elegant larh! so pretty and beautiful. ahhh i want his house also! shall earn loads of money xDD anyways we went there like those suagu people who have never seen such houses and we were like WAHHH WAHH WAHH here and there. then the stupid gladys and jiahui were at his kitchen exploring and they opened all the drawers to see. and they took out funny stuffs like POOH SPOON and i dont know larh. then we all keep laughing. the best thing in his house is the fridge larh. damn stylo! we all keep playing with it. haha! then was hungry so we ate the cup noodles we bought from 7-11. then ate bread. then watched tv. i am so tired so i rested awhile. woke up played with shwan's phone. quadrapop =]] then somehow time pass so fast that it was 5plus. then we decided to go larh. then the rain damn bigggggg! so we ling yu all the way to the busstop. drenched. haha! then gladys damn caring larh! take out tissue help me clean up. haha! cute girl. then she and me took mrt to bugis. she left =]

then i met enxin larissa aloysius and violet at bugis street. after a while aloysius and violet left larh. the 3 of us walk walk walk. then went to bugis junction. larissa bought her shirt. then we went to kfc for dinner. then took mrt to admiralty. she cut hair. then we went her house. for bbq thing. then i audition-ed with larissa. she damn cute. ahah! she told me her account. heehees. next time i can play le. then larissa sent us to the opposite bus stop meaning she needs to walk to the front gate cause she never bring side gate pass. then we cabbed and sent her to the traffic light and we went home =] bathed and tried connecting for damn damn long! finally connected.

--
in love with gladys larh! she is so damn crazy! i can really kisiao with her =] so funnnnnn! ahhaha
today was okay larh! if i didnt fall, i would have enjoyed basketball-ing more. arghh!

hahaha! no one has yet to seen the engravings beneath my bracelet. heehees. updating wishlist =]

falling sick to make myself whether you care. but i no longer need cause i know you do. and i'm happy =] thanks for letting me love you.

yesterday shui bu zao =( flip here and there until 4.30 damn pekchek. so i went to the living room and started wrapping my books. and yeah being a perfectionist. i wrapped the first book like in 30minutes time ? haha ! wasnt satisfied when i just wrapped it larh! then the rest was still okay. then i wrapped until 6plus. damn tired le jiu sleep all the way till 10am. then i tired tired jiu rest longer. haha! the next moment i woke up is cause of stupid teckhwee's call. ahhh was late =x ahha! 11plus i think. packed stuffs and everything. then went to mos to meet them. choonhan havent reached. so i went up to power9 to collect the bracelet i bought the day before. hmm, as a christmas present to myself? yeahh maybe. haha! then went down again. yeahh saw that bendan lex korkor who cheated my lollipop! arghh. then me teckhwee andy choonhan elaine audrey took mrt to jurong. 2bucks each was cheated off by some organisation. hmm, we are kind people =] then went to the rink there. just nice they resurfacing. so we waited. lalalas~ stupid choonhan didnt bring enough money! imagine if i didnt lend him what is he going to do ?! lols! then we iceskated larh. i'm not pro but not the worst either. haha! actually today quite fun larh. see that choonhan happyfeet and andy bobalance de. funny people. haha! then got once is teckhwee hold elaine hold audrey hold me. then i nearly bang into people so i fell then audrey fell and knocked into teckhwee so he fell and pulled elaine down so she fell. so we all fell ! ahhah! damn funny alrh ! then somemore the 2noobs saw it and keep laughing at us. ahha! then got once i hold andy and choonhan together. then choonhan purposely want make us fall. so i let go of him and he fell =x i am evil ! hahahah. fun fun fun. then at around 4pm they resurfaced so we went to eat abit. then went back iceskate again. after resurface damn slippery larh. then i fell once myself LOL ! then when about to leave stupid teckhwee want make me fall. first time he didnt succeed cause got one lady somehow helped me balance. second time i really fall until pigutong and my hand damn numb larh ! stupid ! he also fall down himself ._. then we took off the iceskating shoe. SO NUMBBBBBBBB lols !

after that we left the rink. and then we went down and i bought ma ya tang ! jay's song haha! and taiwanese sausage =]] then we took mrt back to marsiling and went to ashley house for some majonging. then jiarong came. ahha! then i let him play and i rested. so tired. then play awhile jiu go le. then we went to eat. so damn full larh ! then jiarong and me walked all the way to the 911 bus stop and took 911 home. reached home ben lai xiang sleep right after i blog de. then i realised i so many things havent do larh.

so i reached home and bathed. then i ordered the bbq food for chalet de. then list down things to buy and blahblah. i realised i no $$ to buy. think need to ask enxin help me first. hais. then tomorrow's thing. ben lai say want basketball de. then rain rain. so i went to search from internet for indoor de. then found the cc. then have to tell others. confirm with them. and now i've finally finished doing all the things. 2 hours just passed.

i am so broke larh! then i saw these chip&dales at the more than words there saying that they need my love larh! and asking me bring them home. wo xin yao melt diao liao! can someone kindly help me bring them home ? =x ahha! and and my school books havent buy! i no $$ le ! then the chalet i also no $$ pay i think. hais! i am so broke ahhhhh. jiu ming ahh ! arghh.

i promised people to sleep early =] so early it shall be. 2.30am barh. ahhaha! to me, it has been the earliest lately. and today is the happiest. yin wei xiang xin. shuo yi ke yi xiao le =D hmm, tomorrow maybe go school morning buy books and give lollipop to that bendan korkor who wants to spank me. hahas. argh. but i dont feel like wearing school uniform. hmm, nevermind. it's only going to be awhile =]

wo zhen de hao kai xin =] share this joyous dayw with you guys. so you guys better SMILE! heehees.

yesterday woke up at 2pm. then my dad and i cabbed to marsiling for lunch. then i saw this purple girl with a purple hair and purple top. actually quite nice lerh. but she not pretty =x ahah! somemore dont have the ahlian look. bu shi he. then my dad drove me to san yi house. at there sit sit. play with my nieces and the dog. watched snakes on a plane. scary larh. although there's loads of plot wrong and stuffs. but i think quite nice. hmm, then my dad and mum came at around 6plus. then my dad had his dinner and drove me to huiguan. on the way bought ice. then reached there went in put bag and present. hmm, then went down crapcrap. then went to the staircase to talk with gladys. she told me loads of things =] i'm a listener not a adviser. so i listened. well, then we went back watched them play hopscotch. lols! funny people. it's like all the boxes got things so they can only jumped to the last box with one leg. then the guys keep jumping and jumping we keep laughing =x then patricia was going to her deardear there. so me and gladys pei her. then she went off. we went to buy tidbits. then went back. eat 2sausages. then chitchat crap. drank sparkling juice. eew =x then we played and stuffs. then went up to exchange gifts. i got a clock from engkiat. haha =] then we went down play around. then countdown. they had this cream spray, i dont know what it's called larh. then that stupid suji go spray inside my jacket larh! damn erxin ! then i did the same thing to boonsiong and edmund. then all come chase me. then they played with water. lols. i was like one of the survivors? we were dry people. then those drenched ones will like come hug you ._. ahha! then cleaned up the things. then i taught them play idiot game. once again i am idiot level 0 ! lihai barhh =] then we chitchat play around. and went up rest. then me and gladys went shen jing bing larh! then colin was trying to sleep. so he damn pekchek with us. cause we keep laughing non stop and he was tired. finally, i got damn tired and rested at 6.30am. heehees. then was awaken at 7plus. LOL! so tiring. then waited for everyone to pack. then we went home by mrt. slept at the yishun stop and woke up at woodlands. then took bus with ruiling and colin. i pei her take one round. slept awhile. then went home. blahblah booms on the bed ! slept all the way till 3plus ? lols ! damn tired. got up and used computer eat breakfast lunch dinner together. lol ! then i went out at 6plus. saw his mum. told her i going movies with my friends. but the fact is alone larh. then i went to buy tickets. then went to walk walk. made a bracelet at power9. supposed to collect it later. then bought my huiling darling de christmas present. then went for movie-deathnote. it's a nice movie i think. touching was when the white L died. because i think he's a nice guy. to think i cried for him and in the end he cheat my feelings cause he didnt die ! but ending still died LOL. then teckwai passed me money. then i walk walk walk. then walked home. yeahh. alone movie today. will get used to it =]

i've decided to love you still =] although you dont.

will blog about yesterday next time barh.

-
i chosed to give up. right on this day, just let me wake up. i dont want people to worry about me anymore. no longer. wo yao kaixin de zuo hui zi ji. sui ran wo de ren sheng yi jin mei you ni. wo hui shi wo de.

going for deathnote alone maybe. because a promise is a promise. and i promise you and no one else. so i will keep the promise. although you used to break all the promises you gave me. i dont care.

iamstillinlovewithyou. but now everything's going to be kept in my heart =]

you are the world to me;yet i am nothing to you.
hao xinku.

once a lover, now a friend. so hard to pretend.
i dream of you, your eyes, your hands, your hair, your everything;but it's just a dream.
iloveyouforever. that was my promise to you. a promise is a promise.

today woke up at 10am and prepared everything. then went out to somerset and waited for my aunt. she was so late. she reached at 12noon when we're meeting at 11.30. and i reached around 11 plus. waited so long. then went to the flea market thing. am supposed to BE my sister. forged her signature and everything cause she's not around. stupid sister. then me and my aunt went to wisma's food republic to eat. the food so expensive yet so not nice ._. arghh. only coffee is nice. haha. then we went to taka walk walk. then she bought a cute pooh bag for my niece as christmas gift. then i went for my dance. blahblah. dance alot. i think my yao really improve. i'm happy. but i scared i spoil it. hais. then dance zhanghe. got scolded again. we're really not good. then today dance ended a little bit earlier like 8.30pm? then change le went to central for dinner. then dad drove home.

just now stupid boonsiong asked a damn stupid question. and rang wo xiang qi ta.
--

in just 26more hours. =(
ireallymissyousomuch. iwantyoutobemineforever. no matter how hard i try, i just cant get you off my mind. my heart is still beating for you. only you. wohaoxiangni. iloveyoustill.

The rain, just never seems to bring
the joy, I feel the same
everlasting pain of my loss remains

My heart, can't seem to learn to part
the hole you left the mark
all that I dreamed of now it seems so stuck

Tho I told myself won't hold my breath
a part of me was dying
there is nothing left for me to do now, but give in

If you gave me,
one chance to tell you how i was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you
I won't live my life without you
If you gave me,
one chance to tell you how i was feeling
I would hold your hand
and look in your eyes and ya know,
I'd never let you go

The way, you left me on the train
I don't know what to say
I remember everything on that day

I can't believe we'd never dance
I just need one more chance
to share the sunset our one last romance
Tho I told myself won't hold my breath
a part of me was dying
there is nothing left for me to do now,
but give in

If you gave me,
one chance to tell you how i was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you
I won't live my life without you
If you gave me,
one chance to tell you how i was feeling
I would hold your hand
and look in your eyes and ya know,
I'd never let you go

--
chanceless =(
i miss you so badly. but i hope you're happier with your life now. zhi sao wo zhi dao. li kai wo ni hui kai xin. although it hurts so bad for me.

yesterday. went school at 12.30pm. took the keys and went in. blahblah. danced and blahblah. we've done our best. but teacher just dont like it larh. so we were scolded and scolded. her words are like those gun shooting into my heart. i dont know what to do. maybe we are really so lousy that she cannot accept the fact that we are her students. hais. i dont know larh. just cried larh. then patricia also cried. then we went to the back to practice larh. are we good ? or are we really wu yao ke jiu ? i dont know. aiyahh. so confused. living in this world of lies. either seniors are lying to us to encourage us. or teacher is lying to us for us to work harder. i dont know

then after dance. went to causeway. met huiling elaine and waited for boonsiong and jiafeng. then we took bus over to east coast. tired and exhuasted. then walked over there. bbqed and ate. then went to the waves there. they are beautiful. if only they can wash away all the memories and everything. the whole place just replays the day we went there. hais. then went back to sing songs. then played polar bear. then cut cake. then i had to leave. my dad drove jiajun home. then me. reach home bathed. use computer awhile and i am so deadly tired. so i went to sleep. kinda enjoy such life of tiredness. when i gets tired, all i want is sleep and nothing else. and i wont think much.

today woke up late cause i'm tired. woke up at 1pm larh. then prepare everything. ate lunch. then went to school. yeahh. danced and blahblah. hais tired. then came home for dinner. going to return ai sha 17 le.

--
i'm tired.
everything reminds me of you.

sleepless night.
5th night without you.

wo hao xiang ni.

friendship and relationship. so different yet so similar.
both are lost. both are gone.

life had never been such freaking difficult to go through. who can i rely on now? who can i be with now? somehow i destroyed my own life.

i dont care about anything anymore.
all i want for christmas is you--

why cant you guys just understand how tense it is now for us? for the teachers for the dancers. the teacher the seniors all can feel it. even me. but you guys are still happy go lucky. cant you all understand ? the competition is coming soon. we all are so stressed yet you all can be so selfish just to play and enjoy yourself. can you all not be so selfcentered and think of others? only you guys are working hard? do you realise that a team has to work together to achieve something? do you realise that how NOT a team we've already been? yet all you know is yourself! i cant believe that you are still going to not go for practices just to have fun. how many practices are we left with ? not alot at all. not even enough for us to be NOT BAD troupe. even if you dont want to achieve. at least think about us. we've work so hard. maybe not you. but what about others? they had been scolded and scolded over and over again. their moves are all improving. we are all trying to reach higher and higher yet you are going to spoil everything. zi ji qu xiang xiang bah. if this really cant make you think. i wash my hands off this.

--
i dont want all my hardworks just ruined by these. i've worked so hard. i've sacrificed so much. you should know. my dance had made me lost so many things. i'm the one undergoing all these. yet i cant give up because i'll just ruin everything. i know everyone had worked very hard. so i cant just give up.

i just wish you are still mine. and that i can say everything to you. maybe i'll feel so much better. i've finally learnt to cherish.

today woke up at 7plus. chionged ai sha 17. blah. then went out at around 10am. met teckhwee then went to eat longjohnsilver. then watched the holiday. nice barh. but i tired. so i slept for some parts. blahblah. then i went to school. was late =x then reach school. took lift up to 4th floor. then i saw edmund at the table. wahh i so scared he scold me alrh. then in the end he ask me sit there pei him awhile. so i sat and joked with him larh. he damn funny larh. he say he just scolded them. then i keep asking him why lerh. he say dont know lerh. LOLS! then i say he take them chu qi ! hahaha. then i say if i in there he confirm wont scold them. cause i so cute. then he say yahh lorh. you stand infront then i wont scold le see you so cute. LOLS! then i keep asking him go in. then on the way in he ask me act stern larh. cause he just scolded them. then i keep laughing non stop. realised i stood outside the door laughing for very long larh. then went in everyone so quiet. scary. days with SZELING meaning they're so dead. lalalas~ szeling is so important =x anyways, danced blahblahblah. after dance saw teckhwee larh. he say he wuliao ._. then he me elaine went to 883 for dinner. he damn funny larh. he cycled over but the bicycle must be in sight of him. so he carried up the bicycle. whatever. had chicken rice and milo O =] then went home. chiong ai sha 17 again. then just now went to return it larh. then on my way got one stranger keep caling me. some indian guy. he called and asked me what's my name. freak me out siah. hais.wish you were there with me

today was alright barh. although i still keep thinking of you. but at least i managed to smile.

--even if i smiled, there's still a scar.

i saw a star just now. but i know it's not you. cause you're not ever going to shine for me again. 5more days to christmas and our 5th month. the day i always wanted to celebrate with you. i promised not to go out with anyone else except you. i still promise.

lalalas. slept at 2.20 woke up at 7plus =D

at times there is a urge to sms you. but after i typed finished. i realised i cant send it to you. because you're no longer mine. i cant write all these to you anymore. i'm no longer important to you. ni de xin li yi jin mei you wo de wei zi. but i cant forget you.

today woke up at around 11am. was late larh. supposed to reach school at 11am. so i chiong and i managed to reach school at 11.15am. lihai barh. had stuffs and everything larh. then went up to dance studio. started around 1.05pm. blahblah. dance was okay larh. i improved i think. must jiayou. hmmm, then didnt do much larh. after dance went home. met elaine teckhwee at 7.00pm. some people were late larh. haha! then we went to junction 8 to meet huiling and chiewyen. yeah. then ate ajisan! yeahh. quite nice barh. then i bought pushpop! then we went to take neoprints. then we took mrt back. huiling and chiewyen alighted at admiralty. we alighted at woodlands. bought bread. then walked to 800+ behing 834 there sit down and chitchat. waste time=] then went to buy milo. then went home.

ni hai ji de wo marh ? ni hai ai wo marh? ni hai xiang wo marh?
i hated you for saying all those things and promises. but i love you too much to hate you.
hao xin ku worh. gan jue zhen xin ku. hais.

i'm going to have 2 best friends. =] i know who are they. i hope they know too.
yeah ! going to be very busy tomorrow =D i am pro.
hao nan shi ying mei you ni de ri zi. wo hao xiang ni. hao xi wang ni hai shi wo de. yi qie dou bian le. days without you seem to pass so slowly. i just wish you can spend everyday with me.

empty promises dont count.
every promises you made still remains in my heart. every words you say still remains in my mind. you just keep appearing.

masked-

today woke up at 1pm. lihai right. then waited for my dad to wake up at 2pm. then me mama and papa cabbed to lunch together. then went to another coffeeshop for coffee. hmm, then dad took his cab and drove us home. then my mum do abit stuffs. then we went to 849 salon. the girl say my hair very black =] and i'm proud of it ! HA. then i washed and temporary rebonded it while my mum cut hers. then i keep kajiao my mum go gai gai. so we went to kranji this fashion. didnt buy anything cause not nice larh. i wanted to buy a short de. but too big. =( then my sister say want go kl help me buy. so thanks! then we went to cck for dinner. had kfc. yummy. then we walked walked walked. my sister bought long pant and shirt for my dad. then we walked around. my mum saw some cute cute clothes and we bought it larh. my sister paid again. then my sister went to her boyfriend house while me and mummy went to i.p zone where i bought another pant. shopping done. all my clothes costed about 90bucks. and my mum and sister didnt buy anything larh. they are so good to me. i must treat my mum better. hm, the we took train home. on the way she was argueing with me that i used my edusave to shop le. then i say no lorh! you still owe me 90bucks. so the money i spent is the money you owed me! WAHAHAH! so i still got 250bucks for myself xP going to buy something soon =]

i tried to forget you by making myself very busy. wo zuo bu dao. =( wo hao xinku.

people are so imperfect.

no matter how much i cry, how sad i am, he wont be back.
he is no longer mine.

but i cant stop crying.

回家的路总是很远
话少得很可怜
一个人的晚餐
都是孤单的滋味
看见身边重复上演
属于我们的画面
选择逃避的眼
怎么还是会流泪
爱着你的每一天
你就是我的世界
那时候还以为
我就爱这一遍
没有你的每一天
快乐离我好遥远
心已随你走了
还能用什么感觉

我舍不得睁开眼睛
害怕身边没有你
也许在梦境里
是我们最近的距离
想念你温热的手心
冷风里把我握紧
当冬天又来临
这温度该怎么延续

谢谢你曾经爱过我
给我最美的经过
但生命最爱被剥夺
未来的路该怎么走

i feel so terrible.

i miss the way you told me you really love me, but that's what happens when a couple breaks up; the love fades, and you have to get used to not hearing 'i love you', or 'i miss you' anymore. and the rest of your days are spent on trying to let go, or trying to move on. or, convicing that still hopeful heart of yours that there isnt a chance left in the whole that you'll both end up being together again.then you have to face the heart ache that comes with the thought of your love being

i just wish you would say you were just joking. you would smile and say you still love me and that you will take care of me and be there for me. everytime i look at the stars it reminds me of you. i look at my phone it reminds me of your messages. i look at the necklace it reminds me of you wearing it. i just cant stop thinking of you. cant stop loving you. cant stop crying. i need you so badly. i want you to be with me. i want you to love me like you used to did. i want you to let me cherish you. i want you to let me love you. i want you to let me be with you. i want you forever...
but i cant have you. no longer. i cant be myself again.

blog closed.

我爱哭
大声的哭
你在身边
我敢放肆的哭
电影感人
听情歌我都会哭

我爱哭
偷偷的哭
你清楚却伤我那黱离谱
几句话语
我的泪却止不住

你说分手时候
彷佛早就想清楚
留我一个躲在角落
来不及哭
只能傻住

我是爱哭鬼
我想哭掉对你的思念
看著镜子里面没志气的脸
然后越哭越后悔

我是爱哭鬼
我想哭掉对你的依恋
我也知道自己这样子不对
却还越哭越认真的为谁

我不哭
我不敢哭
哭只会让视线变的模糊
视线模糊
记忆却会更清楚

你说分手时候彷佛早就想清楚
留我一个躲在角落
来不及哭
只能傻住

我是爱哭鬼
我想哭掉对你的思念
看著镜子里面没志气的脸
然后越哭越后悔
我是爱哭鬼
我想哭掉对你的依恋
我也知道自己这样子不对
却还越哭越认真的可悲

i drifted away from loads of things and people. i dont know whether i still care. whether i want to have more friends, study better or just remain this drifted feeling and dance dance dance. i dont know what i should do.

drifting awayyyyyy-

lin junjie - wang ji

感觉梦醒着
感觉心痛着
感觉你不在了
谁来证明爱是存在的
我们被困着
被过去骗着
这一切都不一样
世界怎么了
难道说选择了忘记
而解放了自己
是否就拥有挑战爱情的勇气
当时光交成在一起
成说不清的思绪
我却只要那段最美的回忆

memory
飘荡如空气
明知你在那里
却又难以跨越的距离
我们在放弃涂白了记忆
以为就可以伪装无邪的美丽

难道说选择了忘记
而解放了自己
是否就拥有挑战爱情的勇气
当时光交成在一起
成说不清的思绪
我却只要那段最美的回忆
难道说选择了忘记
而解放了自己
是否就拥有挑战爱情的勇气
当时光交成在一起
成说不清的思绪
我却只要那段最美的回忆
我却只要那段最美的回忆....

back from camp. i aint happy. i am tired. no one understands. no one knew. deep inside how bad i feel. i miss you so much. but are you thinking of me? i want you so badly. but what were you doing? i feel so terrible.
-

camp was tiring. it's like every morning we wake up for breakfast and do loads of ji ben gong. then during lunch we will be so tired till we eat le jiu go room sleep. then we danced again until dinner. where i will be so tired that i cant finish my dinner. and then we danced again until 11pm. it's so tiring larh. everything was tiring except for night chats. yeah. all those bitchy and bastardy stuffs come out. all those vulgars and everything start. yeah. every night we'll chiong to toilet for shower. then we'll sit at some staircase to chitchat. stand at balcony to look at the stars. last night we went to one of the rooms to play and 'dance' and chitchats. it was fun until something really pissed me so off then i just cried larh. i know it's not really my business but i just cant stand it. argh! i ren the whole camp not to cry de ! =( hais. but whole camp there are happy times and there are times where i just feel so moody and everything seem to be falling apart. my mind just float around and hu si luan xiang. hais.

going for dance later.

just came back from dance. yeapp. i want to be someone who aint me. let the someone take over me for this few days barhh. fan zhen wo bu xiang zhe yang de sheng huo. let that someone be me. dance for me. feel for me. think for me. i need to rest.

left-
wo de xin hao xiang shou shang le.
wo bu yao zai xiang le.
i rather lie to myself; i rather live in a world of lies.
because i dont want to see myself fall.
because i dont want to wake up from the nightmares.
because i dont want to be myself anymore.
i am afraid to face it.
let's pray.

sweety- ai shi zhe me yi hui shi

是哪一颗星星
掌管爱情的事
往哪个方向指
爱才能真实
你最近的样子
总是很多心事
你的爱就像是一个
没说完的句子
没有人不会变
我已经懂事
但是请你真心的爱我一次

两个人的世界
原来不是那样子
爱这一次
就可以解释最后
爱情是怎么一回事
两个爱过的人
变得不认识
谁来急救没有感觉的彼此
我在你的心中
没有了位子
到底爱情是怎么一回事
太多的故事
结局都是如此
在每一个
没有星星的日子
往哪里指
都是你影子

--
going for dance camp. i hope i can handle everything. like what elaine taught me. cry for once and promise myself i will be stronger and not cry again. i cannot break down anymore. because i have become stronger. i am a strong girl. =]

jason:
第一次当我见到你你说你紧张的忘了呼吸
记忆里我只想玩玩而已在一起没想过这问题
你说你从来没有忘记我们第一个夜里我一边说我爱你
一边喘着气 sorry 我爱你是指你的身体
我不知道你的需要你对我的要求我从来没做到
矮你怎么受的了矮～
但我总是见到你微笑痛苦总是往肚子里吞掉
只希望有一天我能明了你的好
我假装对你不在意假装失去我的记忆
为了隐藏以前痛苦回忆我选择放弃放心去爱人的权利
因为我不相信自己不相信你
不相信一句话叫做真心真意我选择绝情绝意
你把我当作情人我却把你当作敌人我的人生就是充满猜疑忌恨
不要浪费精神在我身上寻找永恒
执迷不悔只会再你我身上造成一道道永远的伤痕 baby
landy:
能不能就对着我说爱我能不能就陪着我天长地久
不要对我若即若离让我伤心泪流
能不能就对着我说爱我能不能就陪着我一直到最后
从今以后剩下的路要你陪我走
jason:
你一定觉得我坏谁都不爱随你去猜我是在什么心态
面对你给我的爱你对我好我就对你越坏
但我心里一直有声音跟我告白它说不能没有你的存在
好怪想爱却又说不出来
为何心软为何心软为何你从不会对我心烦
已经有了答案我却不敢去看
面对你不再反感我发现我冰冷的心感受到你的温暖
该怎么办我现在爱你会不会太晚
你是唯一我想和你在一起不想再和你分离喔
就算外面的女孩子她们叫我baby-by和在我心底只有一个老婆叫做vicky-cky
不知道该怎么说但我知道怎么做我不会一错再错
忘了以前痛苦的过程我们要的只是结果
你问我会一起多久我不知道大概一辈子够不够
牵着你的手往前走我只听到你说
landy:
能不能就对着我说爱我能不能就陪着我天长地久
不要对我若即若离让我伤心泪流
能不能就对着我说爱我能不能就陪着我一直到最后
从今以后剩下的路要你陪我走
landy:能不能就对着我说爱我能不能就陪着我天长地久
jason:能不能能不能能不能够对着我说爱我
landy:相信我能不能就对着我说爱我能不能就陪着我一直到最后
jason:就一直到最后

i'm going for dance camp today. i dont know whether it's a bad thing or good thing. i wonder if distance is good for you and me. my mind is now confused. i dont know what am i thinking. i guess i am worried. afraid and loads loads of mixed feelings. wo hao xin ku. i wish you can be here to tell me that i shouldnt hu si luan xiang and just tell me that i am thinking too much. i just wish i didnt saw anything. maybe dance can let me forget everything. that's the reason i love sunday dance so much. i've learnt to enjoy it and i dont know. let myself into the dance and not think of anything except the steps. time to strain myself.
--

going on a diet le =]

nowplaying: nengbuneng. it's a nice song.
going to learn teriyaki boyz' rap! gampatehh!

--
hmm, shall update wishlist soon. my birthday coming in 3month <3 lalalaas.


current PM:
even if i smiled, there's still a scar.
dont know what am i talking. argh. bye <3

wo zai xiang ni.
wo hai pa shi qu ni.

but i decided to trust you.
--
argh! vinegar not nice larh! RAHHHHHHS

yesterday bbq was quite fun barh. i think so ? lols ! hmm, morning went to shengsiong meet them. i was late larh. cause i thought is 1030. then i drank milo then we went to buy stuffs. yeah so fun! stupid huiling and chiewyen wanted to take the brush that you use to paint the houses for the magarine and honey ! LOL! and one thing is that we confirm spend alot at there. cause i ask huiling whether want this or that anot. she say anything lorh. take one packet! LOLS! then everything also suibian lorh! hahahhas. we spent around 40bucks only larh. then ashlee dad drove us to causeway. elaine was on my lap, jiarong on andy's and chiewyen and huiling squeezing while ashlee comfortably in front! lols. then me and elaine alighted at causeway. we went to cavana for brunch and we waited for time to pass. we had fun there larh! zilianing alot. lols! but then mostly deleted. first was i say the expression then she do. then she cannot do it! LOLS so i took over and i took alot of baichi photos. lihai barhh! ahhahas.

then we went outside to wait for them alrh! so longggggg. argh! meet 12.30 they 1pm then come! ji si wo le! lols! then we took bus over. lalalas~ then we walked from marine parade all the way to east coast to my AREA D PIT 44 ! lols! damn far larh! then they all complaining . sorry norh xD east coast nice nice ! =( but i wished i know how to cycle or blade. then can always go there. if not go there also nothing to do. boooo. but i dont feel like learning. hmm, then reached there. me yingping simin huiyi teckwai teckhwee went to the beach while others rented bicycles. so we played blahblah. stupid teckhwee went into the water when it's high tide then whole body wet. then he climbed up the rock thing. and injured himself ! LOLS! ben si le. =x then i played with the sand cause i dont like water =x then we went back the pit there chitchat. then i also dont know what they do larh. so me huiling simin chiewyen yingping and huiyi sat there and played heart attack! lols. lose de must eat one spoon of chocolate fudge. then we added honey also cause huiyi say very KU lols! i never lose ! lols! then went cycle with them. i sat at the second seat =D all the way to jetty where we guailan this boy who damn cocky larh! lols funfun =x then went back. watched them play awhile. then went to take the bbq stuffs. then they all start fire dont let me join in. stupid teckhwee. so i went to buy another pack of charcoals cause not enough. then i walked back fire still havent okay. stupid people! benson came =D then the fire started and everything. they ate first larh. had comments and all that =x hahas! then i went to find my dear larh. he damn zibi =x ahha! then we went back pit together to eat. lalallas! teckwai damn baichi. i say i want honey coated hotdogs and crabsticks! then he dipped the whole hotdogs and crabsticks inside. lols ! quite nice alrh. but damn sweet nevermind. just like me =x then hanging around. i went to buy drinks and marshmellows. then came back chiewyen simin yingping leaving. HUGHUG <3 haha! then we walk walk. then teckhwee keep wanting to play polar so we played with him. then everyone gathered le ! got me benson jiarong ashlee andy teckhwee elaine huiyi ! i taught them play idiot game larh ! then they all idiot level high high LOL! only i level zer0 =D wo lihai barh! told you guys i not idiot le! lols! then weiren teckwai and dear left with their friends. then we played polarbear. fun fun! i think i very lihai lerh =x hahaha! my debating skills not bad barh! ahhahas! then we played until very sian. cause teckhwee that siao de left. then we played idiot game again. lols ! huiyi is idiot level number 5 ! hahah! so funny =x then me and elaine walk walk. i love her <3 then we went back play polar bear. this time dear and huiling joined in also. kelian de huiling keep getting bully. aiyohs! play this game cannot hai pa de amrh! must voice out loudly like me LOLS! i am pro xP then some slept some went to beach. then i walked around trying not to sleep. then we watched the sun rose up. but it was blocked by the clouds. the view not nice =x haha! then we walked to macdonalds. yaye! had harshbrown and coffee there. i was hungry for the whole night man! then eat le want vomit ._. arghs !! then we walked all the way back to marine parade. then hen bu shufu larh! then waited for bus. then sat all the way back causeway. i think everyone slept ? ahha! i also got =D then dear pei me go home. reached home saw mama ! ahhhh i miss my mama! then she going to work le. bathed and came out. ben lai xiang pei my mama go breakfast de. but i eat le somemore had coffee le. haha! normally my breakfast with her is confirm got coffee de. so i didnt go larh. then called dear. then went out to pei him larh cause he cannot go home. that bendan! then i watched him sleep till 12noon. lols that piggy dear. then went home. used computer awhile jiu cannot tahan le. so i went to sleep at around 2pm all the way to 8pm! lols! lihai barh =D hmm, then watched tv and used computer. hmm, maybe going to finish up my 1000pieces de puzzle barh. lol ! i lazy till i didnt do after i complete only 1/5 of it.

yesterday was fun larh! thanks for people who attend. especially people who stayed overnight. love you guys <3

argh. cant sleep again. will try to sleep soon.

hmm, going for bbq later cause it's 8dec today =D damn excited larh. can get to see people who i havent seen for ages ever since holiday started. and how fun it would be. i also cannot confirm larh. but i am happy people are going =D i'm going to book the whole pit to myself. i'll bbq for you all. heehees! i love bbqing and starting the fire! so dont you all dare to snatch from me. or i'll kill you guys! MUAHAHHAHA! =x

yeah. good night. shall sleep after i finish rapping mockingbird xD hahhas. miss the days where me and enxin and aloysius and jinger sat at the balcony and sang this song. and you know, i had so much trouble learning it because they were so pro ! man . it was so PAST.

dear i miss you larh! so long never see you. can die siah! somemore hardly get to talk to you. argh! in hmm, 10hours later i can see you =D hahahhas!

lalalas~ i am happy because i can see you soon! xP

today woke up at around 10am by my mum. she say my aunt want me go out eat with them. then i rejected. lalalas ~ then met my dear at around 12plus at 888 for lunch. fishballs =D then i went to meet enxin and larissa at mos. then we went to the shop beside to take picture for my ezlink. i brought uniform to wear so i just wear over. then take le =] so much nicer than my sec1 de =x ahhaha ! then we walk walk walk. then met jinger. then we went to buy bubble teas shun bian take my photo. then we took bus to sembawang. and got my ezlink card done. lols ! now i can go kbox and have the student thing ! argh. that time that girl dont let me cause i dont have student card. what the hell ! then we make le cabbed to sembawang shopping centre. i forgot who told me there got fbt larh! then dont have =( i bought a jeanshort. and memo pad. no more =] then we cabbed back to causeway. we went to pizzahut eat cause i was hungry ! ate alot. ate the curry thing until want die. damn spicy =x then me and larissa went to walk walk while jinger pei enxin go home take money and booklist. then we all went to popular to shop for sec3books. altogether was 175bucks. but there's still 6 more books for me to buy. i am a strong girl ! i brought the books home myself. in fact, i carry until yao si diao ~ lols !

today spent 70bucks excluding the books. wo hen lihai barh ! hahah =x

i'm tired. GOOD NIGHT <3

i miss my dear =(
ni hai hao mah ?

tio pungseh de feeling not good =(

today supposed to go kbox with dance besties. yeah all end up pungseh. 2went malaysia and 1went grandparents' house. well, it's not like the kbox is a last minute thing. i mean, i already informed you guys about the event the week before. and what i got. last minute pungseh. and only one of you guys told me you wont be coming. what the hell. aiyah. today was alright larh. at least people sang. yeah. patricia sing damn nice larh. can seriously melt people's heart. lols. then got alot people de tune hui piao ~ ting le you yi dian xin ku =x ahhaha! but nevermind. yeah thanks kaiyuan for pei me eat dinner. and and i bought some things so funny so ahlian =x ahha! kaiyuan's idea larh ! haha! she damn cute xD thanks for people who went today. =]

--
lalalas i dont know whether i should be happy or sad.
i dont know what should i be feeling.
i dont know what should i be doing.

lols ~ let nature take its course.
let sleep take my day =]

i dont know where i want to go tomorrow.
i dont think i got money for shopping spree.
need to save up for my sec3 books.
and the bbq fees.
argh! i hate to organize because i need to pay x(

well, see you guys on 8dec.
--

and yeah i miss the gang.
seoul garden anyone ? =x

Profile

ZGNILEZS
18-to-be ; 20 march
female ; pisces
dancer ; student
riverside ; graduated
current ajcian 16o9
Aj Dance Society
ex1/6 ; ex2/6; ex3/4 ; ex4/4
serene_0320@hotmail.com
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