Wednesday, September 30, 2009
really the last lap.
i can go only go forward and not back out.
i need you, your understanding and your patience.
will you wait for me?
5 DAYS MORE ):
lack of time, lack of confidence = not prepared.
damn.
i can go only go forward and not back out.
i need you, your understanding and your patience.
will you wait for me?
5 DAYS MORE ):
lack of time, lack of confidence = not prepared.
damn.
what we could have been, 8:22 pm.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
i really dont know how to move on anymore.
will you take my hand and lead me?
will you take my hand and lead me?
what we could have been, 10:42 pm.
mummy was so cute when i woke her up.
me: mummy faster wake up 1015 alr!
mummy: really? bu yao pian wo [dont lie to me]
me: really!
mummy: im dead !
lols.
anw i justed finished OP slides.
ugh, unproductive day again.
im hungreh again.
me: mummy faster wake up 1015 alr!
mummy: really? bu yao pian wo [dont lie to me]
me: really!
mummy: im dead !
lols.
anw i justed finished OP slides.
ugh, unproductive day again.
im hungreh again.
what we could have been, 10:19 pm.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
FML.
youre the best at killing me.
youre the best at killing me.
what we could have been, 9:38 pm.
came across this at my exclassmate's blog
True love does not go for someone as perfect as your dreamlover.
that "dreamlover" may never exist, or his existence will not stir your love.
its just admiration.
true love goes for the imperfect
the person with a million bad habits
the person who breaks your heart
the person who is insensitive
the person whose hand you're holding
True love is loving someon imperfect and seeing the perfect in them.
baby,
maybe you were the reason behind my tears,
maybe you didnt wipe away my tears for me,
maybe you were the reason for my cold hands,
maybe you didnt hold my hand tight enough,
maybe you were the reason for the cracks in my heart,
maybe you didnt hear my desire for your love.
maybe you aint the best guy for me.
but i'll never regret being with you baby.
for you are the one who gives me all my happiest moments,
for you are the one who cheers me up when im down,
for you are the one who hears me out when i needed someone,
for you are the one who guides me when im lost,
for you are the one who holds my hand and promises me forever,
for you are the one for me,
for you are the one i love.
(:
True love does not go for someone as perfect as your dreamlover.
that "dreamlover" may never exist, or his existence will not stir your love.
its just admiration.
true love goes for the imperfect
the person with a million bad habits
the person who breaks your heart
the person who is insensitive
the person whose hand you're holding
True love is loving someon imperfect and seeing the perfect in them.
baby,
maybe you were the reason behind my tears,
maybe you didnt wipe away my tears for me,
maybe you were the reason for my cold hands,
maybe you didnt hold my hand tight enough,
maybe you were the reason for the cracks in my heart,
maybe you didnt hear my desire for your love.
maybe you aint the best guy for me.
but i'll never regret being with you baby.
for you are the one who gives me all my happiest moments,
for you are the one who cheers me up when im down,
for you are the one who hears me out when i needed someone,
for you are the one who guides me when im lost,
for you are the one who holds my hand and promises me forever,
for you are the one for me,
for you are the one i love.
(:
what we could have been, 7:04 pm.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
URGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
fuck all the work and stress. damn.
fuck all the work and stress. damn.
what we could have been, 8:54 pm.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
stupig body clock ):
tmr sure die in sch.
RAH!
tmr sure die in sch.
RAH!
what we could have been, 3:23 am.
Monday, September 21, 2009
met up jeannie for dinner ytd (:
had ljs. bus-ed down to tampines.
didnt know theres this mall called TAMPINES 1
finally found, and theres this shop full of Disney stuffs!
chip&dale<3 we were both crazy to went in twice.
drank Tired idk-what Latte.
they 'gan'(RIGHT?) one free Hot Choco for jeannie!
NOT FAIR :/
waited for them to end work, we went to walk around.
bus-ed back.
walked jeannie home and they sent me back.
nice chats with her (: soooooooooooo long never see her.
heh.
met baby this aftn for ajisen (:
and slept slept slept~
chiong-ed finish BOYS OVER FLOWERS.
all must watch please. super nice.
im really going to start studying(: i promise.
had ljs. bus-ed down to tampines.
didnt know theres this mall called TAMPINES 1
finally found, and theres this shop full of Disney stuffs!
chip&dale<3 we were both crazy to went in twice.
drank Tired idk-what Latte.
they 'gan'(RIGHT?) one free Hot Choco for jeannie!
NOT FAIR :/
waited for them to end work, we went to walk around.
bus-ed back.
walked jeannie home and they sent me back.
nice chats with her (: soooooooooooo long never see her.
heh.
met baby this aftn for ajisen (:
and slept slept slept~
chiong-ed finish BOYS OVER FLOWERS.
all must watch please. super nice.
im really going to start studying(: i promise.
what we could have been, 9:37 pm.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
mahjong session ytd was a blast (:
12am to 4pm?! 5whole 16rounds.
WOW WOW WOW ~
supper, nightchats, lunch was nice(:
gossipssssssssss are love<3
anw, playing as someone whom everyone likes,
ive been out of that game for damn long. HA!
and i realised, more people like it when youre who you are.
LEARN please. (:
szeling says hi to JC1 next year (:
12am to 4pm?! 5whole 16rounds.
WOW WOW WOW ~
supper, nightchats, lunch was nice(:
gossipssssssssss are love<3
anw, playing as someone whom everyone likes,
ive been out of that game for damn long. HA!
and i realised, more people like it when youre who you are.
LEARN please. (:
szeling says hi to JC1 next year (:
what we could have been, 3:49 am.
Friday, September 18, 2009
im glad things are pathing in the right way (:
baby and i finally met up ^^
caught The Ugly Truth. had steamboat and a longgggggg walk home.
and he keeps calling me dapigu ):
but anw, im glad hes bringing smiles back to me again.
and i finished 2 math tutorials in sch today *clap*
considered achievement for me since ive started slacking.
currently obsessed with Boys over Flowers.
hope to finish it asap so that i'll get over it and study.
gp test tmr = fail T.T
baby and i finally met up ^^
caught The Ugly Truth. had steamboat and a longgggggg walk home.
and he keeps calling me dapigu ):
but anw, im glad hes bringing smiles back to me again.
and i finished 2 math tutorials in sch today *clap*
considered achievement for me since ive started slacking.
currently obsessed with Boys over Flowers.
hope to finish it asap so that i'll get over it and study.
gp test tmr = fail T.T
what we could have been, 12:10 am.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
as usual, i cried at the end of the story.
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.
But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew.
I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible.
Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me.
But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.
I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed.
So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain.
From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.
I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...
I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce.
My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.
I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.
But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew.
I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible.
Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me.
But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.
I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed.
So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain.
From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.
I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...
I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce.
My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.
I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.
what we could have been, 10:36 pm.
我的妻子因為意外事故離開我身邊已經四年了，我想，妻子留下不會做任何家事的我和孩子，她的心有何等難過呢？我也因為無法兼顧父母雙親的角色而感到挫折。有一天我為了出差，清晨趕出門，無法將孩子打點好就得離開家，正巧前一天有剩下的飯，我熱了蒸蛋，向還沒有睡醒的孩子交代一聲，就出門去了。 為了照顧好孩子飲食三餐的事，我也無力把自己的工作做好。有一天晚上回到家，我只是很簡短地和孩子打個招呼，就因為身體疲累，不想吃晚餐，脫掉西裝之後就直接往床上躺下。就在那個時候，砰的一聲，紅色的湯汁跟泡麵瞬時弄髒了床單和被單，原來有碗泡麵在棉被裡！這小子真是的，說時遲那時快，我即時拿起一個衣架，跑出去，往正玩著玩具的兒子的屁股就打，因為我實在是太生氣了，所以不停地打他。但就在這個時候，他邊啜泣邊說了一段話，使我停了下來。
兒子告訴我說：「飯鍋裡的飯早上已經吃完了，晚餐在幼稚園吃了，但是到了晚上，爸爸還不回來，我就在櫥櫃的抽屜裡找到了泡麵。可是我想到爸爸說不能亂動瓦斯爐，所以我就打開洗澡的水龍頭，用熱水泡了泡麵，一個自己吃，另一個想留給爸爸吃。
因為怕泡麵涼掉，所以我就把它放在棉被裡，等你回來。可是因為我正在玩向朋友借來的玩具，所以忘了跟爸爸講。」
我不想讓兒子看到我在流淚，所以衝到洗手間，將水龍頭打開，大聲地哭。過了一陣子之後，我打起精神來，一面哄著兒子，一面也在他屁股上擦藥，讓他上床睡覺。當我清理好泡麵弄髒的床單和棉被後，打開兒子的房門一看，發現他仍舊發出哭泣聲，手裡還拿著媽媽的照片。我把頭靠在房門站了許久，看著這一幕。
自從在一年前發生這件事之後，我為了扮演好媽媽的角色，更加用心地去照顧他。現在兒子快七歲了，不久後就要從幼稚園畢業，進入國小讀書。慶幸的是，兒子在這段時間毫無陰影，很開朗地成長。
就在不久前，我再一次打孩子，因為幼稚園來電話說，兒子沒有去學校，我心裡覺得很不安，所以早退回家，在整個社區裡大聲地喊他的名字，卻是遍尋不著。後來在文具店的門口，看見他站在電玩的前面，於是我很生氣，又開始一直打他。兒子並沒有說出任何的解釋，只說了聲對不起。後來我才知道，原來剛好是幼稚園要邀請媽媽去看才藝表演的日子。
發生這些事的幾天後，兒子回家說，他在幼稚園裡學了寫字，從此他經常關在自己的房間裡不出來，很認真地寫字。我看到兒子這個樣子，想到妻子在天國也一定會因為看到他這樣而微笑，我就無法忍住淚水。
時間很快，又過了一年，到了冬天，街頭上都在播放著聖誕節的歌曲，我的兒子卻又闖了一個禍。我正要下班的時候，接到一通社區郵局的電話，說我兒子把一綑沒有寫地址的信，惡作劇地放在郵筒裡。每年到了年底，正是郵局最忙碌的時候，所以這對他們造成很大的困擾。雖然我已決定不再打孩子，但在急忙趕回家後，叫了兒子來，我又忍不住痛打他一頓。兒子這一次只是說他做錯了，卻沒有講出任何理由。我把他推到一個角落，不管了，自個兒跑到郵局領回那一綑惡作劇的信。我把信丟到他眼前說：「你為什麼要這樣惡作劇？」兒子哭著回答說：「這些信是我要寄給媽媽的。」
當時我的眼眶紅了起來，心裡很激動，但是因為在兒子面前，所以我盡量隱忍住沒有表現出來。我接著問他：「那麼，為什麼一次寄這麼多信呢？」兒子回答說：「以前我要把信投進去的時候，因為個兒太矮，所以沒辦法投入，但是最近我再去郵筒時，已經搆得到了，所以我就把以前沒有寄的，一次全部都投進入了。」
我聽了以後，心中一片茫然，不知道該對孩子說什麼話。過了不久以後，我就跟他說：「媽媽現在在天上，以後你寫完信，把信燒了，就能送到天國去。」等孩子睡著之後，我到外面燒了那些信。我很好奇到底孩子想跟媽媽說些什麼，所以讀了其中的幾封信。
而當中有一封信攪動了我的心。
親愛的媽媽：
我很想念你！媽媽，今天在幼稚園有才藝表演，但是因為我沒有媽媽，所以沒有去參加，我也沒有告訴爸爸，怕爸爸會想念媽媽。爸爸到處去找我，但我為了讓爸爸看到我很開心的樣子，所以故意坐在電動玩具面前，雖然爸爸罵我，但是我到最後也沒有告訴他原因。媽媽，我每天都看到爸爸因為想念媽媽而哭泣，我想爸爸也跟我一樣，很想念媽媽吧！但是，媽，我現在已經記不清楚你的臉。媽媽，請你讓我在夢中，再一次能夠看到你的臉，好嗎？聽說把想念的人的照片放在懷裡睡覺，就會夢到那個人。
可是，媽媽，為什麼你沒有出現在我的夢裡呢？」
讀完這封信以後，我就開始嚎啕大哭。到底什麼時候，我才能填補妻子的空位呢？
兒子告訴我說：「飯鍋裡的飯早上已經吃完了，晚餐在幼稚園吃了，但是到了晚上，爸爸還不回來，我就在櫥櫃的抽屜裡找到了泡麵。可是我想到爸爸說不能亂動瓦斯爐，所以我就打開洗澡的水龍頭，用熱水泡了泡麵，一個自己吃，另一個想留給爸爸吃。
因為怕泡麵涼掉，所以我就把它放在棉被裡，等你回來。可是因為我正在玩向朋友借來的玩具，所以忘了跟爸爸講。」
我不想讓兒子看到我在流淚，所以衝到洗手間，將水龍頭打開，大聲地哭。過了一陣子之後，我打起精神來，一面哄著兒子，一面也在他屁股上擦藥，讓他上床睡覺。當我清理好泡麵弄髒的床單和棉被後，打開兒子的房門一看，發現他仍舊發出哭泣聲，手裡還拿著媽媽的照片。我把頭靠在房門站了許久，看著這一幕。
自從在一年前發生這件事之後，我為了扮演好媽媽的角色，更加用心地去照顧他。現在兒子快七歲了，不久後就要從幼稚園畢業，進入國小讀書。慶幸的是，兒子在這段時間毫無陰影，很開朗地成長。
就在不久前，我再一次打孩子，因為幼稚園來電話說，兒子沒有去學校，我心裡覺得很不安，所以早退回家，在整個社區裡大聲地喊他的名字，卻是遍尋不著。後來在文具店的門口，看見他站在電玩的前面，於是我很生氣，又開始一直打他。兒子並沒有說出任何的解釋，只說了聲對不起。後來我才知道，原來剛好是幼稚園要邀請媽媽去看才藝表演的日子。
發生這些事的幾天後，兒子回家說，他在幼稚園裡學了寫字，從此他經常關在自己的房間裡不出來，很認真地寫字。我看到兒子這個樣子，想到妻子在天國也一定會因為看到他這樣而微笑，我就無法忍住淚水。
時間很快，又過了一年，到了冬天，街頭上都在播放著聖誕節的歌曲，我的兒子卻又闖了一個禍。我正要下班的時候，接到一通社區郵局的電話，說我兒子把一綑沒有寫地址的信，惡作劇地放在郵筒裡。每年到了年底，正是郵局最忙碌的時候，所以這對他們造成很大的困擾。雖然我已決定不再打孩子，但在急忙趕回家後，叫了兒子來，我又忍不住痛打他一頓。兒子這一次只是說他做錯了，卻沒有講出任何理由。我把他推到一個角落，不管了，自個兒跑到郵局領回那一綑惡作劇的信。我把信丟到他眼前說：「你為什麼要這樣惡作劇？」兒子哭著回答說：「這些信是我要寄給媽媽的。」
當時我的眼眶紅了起來，心裡很激動，但是因為在兒子面前，所以我盡量隱忍住沒有表現出來。我接著問他：「那麼，為什麼一次寄這麼多信呢？」兒子回答說：「以前我要把信投進去的時候，因為個兒太矮，所以沒辦法投入，但是最近我再去郵筒時，已經搆得到了，所以我就把以前沒有寄的，一次全部都投進入了。」
我聽了以後，心中一片茫然，不知道該對孩子說什麼話。過了不久以後，我就跟他說：「媽媽現在在天上，以後你寫完信，把信燒了，就能送到天國去。」等孩子睡著之後，我到外面燒了那些信。我很好奇到底孩子想跟媽媽說些什麼，所以讀了其中的幾封信。
而當中有一封信攪動了我的心。
親愛的媽媽：
我很想念你！媽媽，今天在幼稚園有才藝表演，但是因為我沒有媽媽，所以沒有去參加，我也沒有告訴爸爸，怕爸爸會想念媽媽。爸爸到處去找我，但我為了讓爸爸看到我很開心的樣子，所以故意坐在電動玩具面前，雖然爸爸罵我，但是我到最後也沒有告訴他原因。媽媽，我每天都看到爸爸因為想念媽媽而哭泣，我想爸爸也跟我一樣，很想念媽媽吧！但是，媽，我現在已經記不清楚你的臉。媽媽，請你讓我在夢中，再一次能夠看到你的臉，好嗎？聽說把想念的人的照片放在懷裡睡覺，就會夢到那個人。
可是，媽媽，為什麼你沒有出現在我的夢裡呢？」
讀完這封信以後，我就開始嚎啕大哭。到底什麼時候，我才能填補妻子的空位呢？
what we could have been, 4:02 pm.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
will you take my hand and lead me to the future?
i cant fall asleep tonight ):
i cant fall asleep tonight ):
what we could have been, 11:56 pm.
SZELING STOP BEING SUCH A BITCH!
YOUR BITING YOURSELF!
UGH.
YOUR BITING YOURSELF!
UGH.
what we could have been, 10:38 pm.
Monday, September 14, 2009
it feels so weird without you being there.
hahaha i know youre just asleep, but i dont wanna be awake alone.
(: hope to see your msg first thing in the morning.
hahaha i know youre just asleep, but i dont wanna be awake alone.
(: hope to see your msg first thing in the morning.
what we could have been, 2:53 am.
my com screen is now big like crap.
and everything seems so much smaller.
my eyes got no prob, the screen is a big prob now.
anwwwwwww ,
got sudden urge to study. but no time T.T
holy crap.
(:
im happier with your love.
and everything seems so much smaller.
my eyes got no prob, the screen is a big prob now.
anwwwwwww ,
got sudden urge to study. but no time T.T
holy crap.
(:
im happier with your love.
what we could have been, 1:48 am.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
my sis said : study hard. dont stop what youve started.
she didnt know im giving up.
she didnt know im giving up.
what we could have been, 4:02 pm.
hello im pork
what we could have been, 2:41 am.
Friday, September 11, 2009
bejeweled really cools me down.
im so tired.
im so tired.
what we could have been, 3:14 am.
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
SZELING IS SAD.
KNNBCCB I FEEL LIKE TOTAL CRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
ugh ):
SZELING IS SAD.
KNNBCCB I FEEL LIKE TOTAL CRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
ugh ):
what we could have been, 1:50 am.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
fuck pms. i feel damn nuaaaaaaaaa.
ffffffffffffffffff.
ffffffffffffffffff.
what we could have been, 12:59 pm.
im so bored.
talked with jr on the way home ytd.
we both wanna go for nov poly intake.
and we said we'll go tgt if we retain.
and this came across my mind, what if one of us retain and the other promote.
haha. random.
im gonna start savingggggggg (:
heeeees.
ytd had andy's bday celebration.
went to sing with the 2/6'o6 clique. choonhan and teckwai werent around ):
had quite a nice time. geeee.
we sang till 12 ^^
hope he like his present (:
talked with jr on the way home ytd.
we both wanna go for nov poly intake.
and we said we'll go tgt if we retain.
and this came across my mind, what if one of us retain and the other promote.
haha. random.
im gonna start savingggggggg (:
heeeees.
ytd had andy's bday celebration.
went to sing with the 2/6'o6 clique. choonhan and teckwai werent around ):
had quite a nice time. geeee.
we sang till 12 ^^
hope he like his present (:
what we could have been, 12:14 pm.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
totally screwed up the dance today.
urghs.
but camwhoring was nice (: AJDS are whores who loves the cams! T.T
back to rs after much waiting for people.
didnt do much.
dont even know why we're back. to give present or to see tchr?
not much tchrs were around though.
baby sent me back.
and we headed to meet the small gang for sakae buffet.
im no longer as appetitious[random word] as before! ):
super full like halfway.
home and slept till now HA!
great hols for this weekend.
should buck up soon. STOP PONNING~
anw tmr's gonna be nice i hope. hehs (:
urghs.
but camwhoring was nice (: AJDS are whores who loves the cams! T.T
back to rs after much waiting for people.
didnt do much.
dont even know why we're back. to give present or to see tchr?
not much tchrs were around though.
baby sent me back.
and we headed to meet the small gang for sakae buffet.
im no longer as appetitious[random word] as before! ):
super full like halfway.
home and slept till now HA!
great hols for this weekend.
should buck up soon. STOP PONNING~
anw tmr's gonna be nice i hope. hehs (:
what we could have been, 12:54 am.
