Saturday, February 03, 2007
yesterday was a bad day for me i guess.
morning went to school. wanted to copy chemistry practical book but was late. so i went down. had healthy lifestyle. i cried and broke down. i was damn damn damn fed up with myself for crying infront of everyone. but i cant stop larh. hais. you guys are happy playing with each other what else do i want ?! why am i so lousy and everything. why can i smile and play with you guys! why why why. what else do i want! i hate myself so so so much! didnt skipped much. just stood at the back. the more i think of them the more i want to cry. i know everyone cares, but no one really knows what i am feeling. not that i dont want to say not that i dont know what to say. it's just i cant speak to everyone can i? i dont even have a friend of my own that belong to me whom i can speak to her about anything. i dont even have a best friend. i dont even have any. the more you all show that you care, the more i feel bad about because i cant talk. yet, the more i cry, more people show their care. but i wasnt trying to attract attention. that's what i dont want people to misuderstand.
after healthy lifestyle was chemistry. then got practical must wear school skirt. so i borrowed from peiqi cause i never bring to school. then did practical and i was good and fast. i am loving practicals. yeahh. then had physics. did the questions, and the notes thing. then recess. i cant sit with them. what you expect? after a big cry then i go laugh and play with you all. it's like impossible what! since i'm weak, let it be. the more you talk to me, the more i feel like crying. every words that xiaomei said to me is like spikes hitting on me. she made me feel everything is my fault and now it's me who dont want to be with them. she said if i still treat them as friends then i should go sit with them. but she dont understand. deep inside i want to go back, but outside i was too weak to face them. i cant possibly cry le jiu go play right. i just need time. i need confidence. i need courage. to apologise to say sorry to make decisions to choose what to do. i need to change. cried for the whole recess larh. hao xinku. xin li hao tong. tou hen tong. hen tong ku. lex korkor bought tissue for me =] thank you korkor. loves!
then had maths. did emath and some question. go through class test and i only got 13 out of 25 marks. then paid money for tys and everything and i was so broke. then went home to change take money charge ipod and blahblah.
met larissa and baoying 1.45pm at admiralty. then mrt-ed to somerset. it was long trip. then we went to cineleisure to buy movie tickets for HAPPY BIRTHDAY[larissa today birthday!] the movie was 2.25 and it was 1.4o plus at that time. so we went to first floor CHICAGO to eat. had fish and chips. larissa eat slow slow. so we were late for 5minutes for the movie. then went to 6th floor for the movie. baoying bought a 3bucks ice lemon tea and she was complaining blahblah. the theatre was great as it has an inbuilt toilet! the movie was not so good. the storyline hai hao just not touching enough. the story wasnt full i think. i had more ideas on how to improve =x ahha! then during movie i keep kajiaoing them. blahblah then walked around cineleisure. then walked to heeren. blahblah walk walk nothing nice i think. then we went to fareast. had icecreams at gelare there. baoying at the waffle icecream and i drank frappe latte larh! then the price of my coffee almost same as her waffle. oohh money flew away[baoying and larissa's language] then we walked around the first floor for like 1hour? or maybe longer. well, larissa was quiet. baoying was slow at looking at clothes. she took damn long. i was sian cause nothing nice that i like =( hmm, then we walked the whole fareast. baoying only bought 1 jean short for 35bucks and the auntie gave a free bag. i was like LOLing after i saw her passing her the free gift. damn funny =x then we walk walk, larissa left. so me and baoying walked back heeren to eat wanton mee. on the way, we saw the STEVEN LIM[that yong bu yan bai guy who striped in the singapore idol - baoying said] hmm, he say what want to help us trim the eyebrow say 10 bucks only. then we agreed larh for fun. then we thought he had a shop of what! then in the was like he helped us trim outside a glass window. okay he was lame saying baoying look like shiyu and i looked like daren! WHAT THE HELL ._. then he say not pain and stupid baoying never say pain! when he helped me trim it's like DAMN DAMN DAN PAINNNNN. no much difference i think. sian. then ate wanton mee at heeren. then walked again. then we dont want to go back so went to cineleisure walked again. she saw the BIG SAFETY PIN and was helly in love larh! lols ! then we still dont want to go back. so went plaza singapura at around 10plus! then it was like all shops are closed. xD then we bought coke to drink =D then mrt-ed back to woodlands and took bus home. i was so hell tired. then i just changed and take out contact lens jiu sleep le!
until today morning wake up at 8.15am. late for dance ._. chiong school. had the rehersal thing sian sian. then bought lunch homed. =]
and stupid yongkang! the bang wo mai fan is old joke le. stop laughing at it ._.
wo hai shi bu kai xin. i just need someone.
to hear me cry to hear me talk.
morning went to school. wanted to copy chemistry practical book but was late. so i went down. had healthy lifestyle. i cried and broke down. i was damn damn damn fed up with myself for crying infront of everyone. but i cant stop larh. hais. you guys are happy playing with each other what else do i want ?! why am i so lousy and everything. why can i smile and play with you guys! why why why. what else do i want! i hate myself so so so much! didnt skipped much. just stood at the back. the more i think of them the more i want to cry. i know everyone cares, but no one really knows what i am feeling. not that i dont want to say not that i dont know what to say. it's just i cant speak to everyone can i? i dont even have a friend of my own that belong to me whom i can speak to her about anything. i dont even have a best friend. i dont even have any. the more you all show that you care, the more i feel bad about because i cant talk. yet, the more i cry, more people show their care. but i wasnt trying to attract attention. that's what i dont want people to misuderstand.
after healthy lifestyle was chemistry. then got practical must wear school skirt. so i borrowed from peiqi cause i never bring to school. then did practical and i was good and fast. i am loving practicals. yeahh. then had physics. did the questions, and the notes thing. then recess. i cant sit with them. what you expect? after a big cry then i go laugh and play with you all. it's like impossible what! since i'm weak, let it be. the more you talk to me, the more i feel like crying. every words that xiaomei said to me is like spikes hitting on me. she made me feel everything is my fault and now it's me who dont want to be with them. she said if i still treat them as friends then i should go sit with them. but she dont understand. deep inside i want to go back, but outside i was too weak to face them. i cant possibly cry le jiu go play right. i just need time. i need confidence. i need courage. to apologise to say sorry to make decisions to choose what to do. i need to change. cried for the whole recess larh. hao xinku. xin li hao tong. tou hen tong. hen tong ku. lex korkor bought tissue for me =] thank you korkor. loves!
then had maths. did emath and some question. go through class test and i only got 13 out of 25 marks. then paid money for tys and everything and i was so broke. then went home to change take money charge ipod and blahblah.
met larissa and baoying 1.45pm at admiralty. then mrt-ed to somerset. it was long trip. then we went to cineleisure to buy movie tickets for HAPPY BIRTHDAY[larissa today birthday!] the movie was 2.25 and it was 1.4o plus at that time. so we went to first floor CHICAGO to eat. had fish and chips. larissa eat slow slow. so we were late for 5minutes for the movie. then went to 6th floor for the movie. baoying bought a 3bucks ice lemon tea and she was complaining blahblah. the theatre was great as it has an inbuilt toilet! the movie was not so good. the storyline hai hao just not touching enough. the story wasnt full i think. i had more ideas on how to improve =x ahha! then during movie i keep kajiaoing them. blahblah then walked around cineleisure. then walked to heeren. blahblah walk walk nothing nice i think. then we went to fareast. had icecreams at gelare there. baoying at the waffle icecream and i drank frappe latte larh! then the price of my coffee almost same as her waffle. oohh money flew away[baoying and larissa's language] then we walked around the first floor for like 1hour? or maybe longer. well, larissa was quiet. baoying was slow at looking at clothes. she took damn long. i was sian cause nothing nice that i like =( hmm, then we walked the whole fareast. baoying only bought 1 jean short for 35bucks and the auntie gave a free bag. i was like LOLing after i saw her passing her the free gift. damn funny =x then we walk walk, larissa left. so me and baoying walked back heeren to eat wanton mee. on the way, we saw the STEVEN LIM[that yong bu yan bai guy who striped in the singapore idol - baoying said] hmm, he say what want to help us trim the eyebrow say 10 bucks only. then we agreed larh for fun. then we thought he had a shop of what! then in the was like he helped us trim outside a glass window. okay he was lame saying baoying look like shiyu and i looked like daren! WHAT THE HELL ._. then he say not pain and stupid baoying never say pain! when he helped me trim it's like DAMN DAMN DAN PAINNNNN. no much difference i think. sian. then ate wanton mee at heeren. then walked again. then we dont want to go back so went to cineleisure walked again. she saw the BIG SAFETY PIN and was helly in love larh! lols ! then we still dont want to go back. so went plaza singapura at around 10plus! then it was like all shops are closed. xD then we bought coke to drink =D then mrt-ed back to woodlands and took bus home. i was so hell tired. then i just changed and take out contact lens jiu sleep le!
until today morning wake up at 8.15am. late for dance ._. chiong school. had the rehersal thing sian sian. then bought lunch homed. =]
and stupid yongkang! the bang wo mai fan is old joke le. stop laughing at it ._.
wo hai shi bu kai xin. i just need someone.
to hear me cry to hear me talk.
what we could have been, 11:37 am.
